what are you carrying
that was never yours to hold?
For people who've been putting everyone else first—
and the organizations who reward it.
you’re strong
You learned strength means never dropping anything. Never saying no. Never being too much or not enough. Holding it all. Managing everyone's expectations. Being kind.
You say yes to leading the project no one else wanted. You cover your colleague's emergency. You bake the perfect superhero birthday cake. You schedule the appointments, walk the dog, eat up the leftovers.
Each yes feels small, but your body has been keeping count. The exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix. The tension that won't release. The hands that stay clenched even in rest.
Over time, the tight grip has become habit. Knuckles locked in place.
What would happen if you slowly opened them.
The fear of letting go is so visceral, like glass shattering on a ceramic floor. But when you open your hands, not everything falls. The important things stay. The things that do fall were never supposed to be held in the first place.
That’s true strength. The courage to release. And you don't have to do it alone.
you’re not alone
You've felt so alone in this.
Trying to figure things out by yourself. Wondering if everyone else has some secret you missed. Thinking if you just read one more book, listened to one more podcast, worked a little harder on yourself... maybe then you'd stop feeling like this.
But processing in isolation is like trying to see your own face without a mirror.
You need witnesses. People who look at what you're carrying and say... I see you. Me too.
In circle, someone names the thing you thought was just you. Being expected to hit aggressive targets while managing a grieving team. Always being the one people come to when things fall apart—at work, at home, with friends. The chronic tension in your body that no amount of yoga seems to release. The fear that if you stop being endlessly available, you'll stop being valued.
And in another person's sharing you feel it, the click of recognition. The exhale you've been holding for months.
One person's courage becomes everyone's permission. Someone admits they don't know who they are when they're not taking care of everyone else, and suddenly it's safe. Someone laughs at being praised for their "resilience" when what they needed was actual support, and something locked inside you releases.
What's been too heavy to move alone becomes lighter when held by the group.
Not because anyone fixes it.
Because you're not carrying it by yourself anymore.
your organization matters
You do the work. You learn to set boundaries. You open your hands. And then Monday morning, you walk back into a culture that requires you to clench them again.
Maybe you're the leader watching this happen. Or you're the person living it, wondering why the work you're doing on yourself doesn't seem to matter at work.
When someone does the inner work and finds the courage to set boundaries within a culture that punishes them for it, they learn to perform again. And when you change policies but everyone still believes their worth comes from being always available, the policies sit unused.
One without the other doesn't work.
I work with organizations where both happen at once. Employees explore what they're carrying. Leaders examine what the culture actually rewards. The front-line manager and the VP both get to say what's true. And together, you find what needs to change.
Not from a consultant's framework. From your people who already know—they just haven't had space to say it.
Once you strike that moving balance, not only do your best people stay… you become the place where everyone wants to work.
Hey, I’m Wendy!
I know what it's like
to carry what isn't yours.
To be good at everything you try and still feel like you’re falling short.
To lean into perfection and show up day-after-day as a “model citizen”.
For 15 years, I expertly advised people and organizations on how to be what everyone wanted them to be so they could get what they want—money, respect, love, you name it.
It took me years to realize…
We were solving the wrong problem.
The people sitting across from me didn't need to expertly fit in.
They needed permission to stop performing.
They needed space to remember who they were before they started carrying everyone else's expectations.
And organizations didn’t need people who fit the mold, they needed to change the mold to fit people.
So I left style coaching and started creating those spaces—for individuals ready to stop performing, and organizations ready to stop rewarding it.
"Wendy offers something rare—a portal into self-knowing through artistic play. The space she holds transforms reflection into something visceral and alive. Her facilitation style is deeply caring. She embodies what she teaches—she's intuitive, 'go with the flow,' and unafraid of questions without answers. Her sessions invite curiosity, warmth, and a sense of play that allow participants to practice new ways of being (many of which might feel uncomfortable at first)."
Emily Empel
Founder, Advance Notice
how I work
Most facilitators have a process. I have intuitive questions.
In a private or organizational circle, I might ask you to spend 5 minutes scribbling with the colours of what you're feeling. Or to move your body the way frustration wants to move. Or consider, "What does the present moment need you to share?"
These aren't exercises with predetermined outcomes. They're invitations to listen to what your body already knows and your mind has been too busy to hear.
The questions aren't about finding answers. They arise in each moment as the group comes together. It might be as simple as "What would happen if you said, 'No.'" Or more specific like, "How might that change in sales reporting affect the marketing team?"
I work mostly with groups because transformation happens faster when witnessed. One person's courage becomes everyone's permission. What feels impossible alone becomes moveable when held collectively.
For organizations, I listen to everyone—leadership, middle managers, employees—to help you see the patterns invisible from inside. You get clear insights about what's breaking and where to start, drawn directly from your people.
You don't need fixing. You need space to hear what you already know.
ready to set something down?
for individuals
Join the January circle
limited to 12 people
for organizations
Let’s talk about what’s actually
happening in your culture